The Fall – Jed

The walk in the woods with my brother and his friend was anything but pleasant. I don’t remember what I hated about it most. Probably just feeling lost all the time. Good thing we understand that our mule did it so we should be able to too. So we all saw how tough a mule can really be and of course we all know, because a mule will just keep walking until he’s home. That’s it. That’s what mules do. They don’t stop walking.

I remember when I was in Michigan walking to the Applethorpes house a long time ago, too long it seems now. That was when, oh well, it doesn’t matter what happened then. What matters was that that walk in the woods with Albert and Dink and really, mostly, with Teardrop, made me think about what’s real and what’s not.

I think about the pain on the face of a family in Tennessee just like I see face in the pain of a family in Michigan and Teardrop saw pain in the face of his family, us, waiting for him, sad until he got home. We were worried, truly worried that something dreadful had happened to the mule and most of all it was me and Moxy looking at ourselves and thinking “what if our stupidity kills that mule” and our too intelligent daughter Minnie, only two, learns he is dead and we’re all funny and guilty about it?

That first lie would kill us, would break our hearts and we knew it so we searched for that mule but we didn’t expect him to come up the side that he did. Didn’t even begin to think so, but after climbing around enough we found it, a stone that was actually the dried mud cake of a mule’s shit. From there we just went up wherever we could.

Dink had climbing shit. Exactly that. His ropes were tangled and weak. He didn’t know how to climb but just acted like he did. I wanted the rope and he wouldn’t give it to me because what he wore was all one piece and he needed it about him. It was his armor. I could see that so I let it go.

I wasn’t planning on having a difficult time of this climb. I would go around if I had to, do anything but face the mountain head on. I was wrong. I learned to climb because if I hadn’t in a few situations I would have stayed on that mountain forever or until the helicopter finally come and picked me up which I’m sure it would have after a day or two when the others got back down. But when Dink actually got a hold of that rope like he did just when I started falling and he got it around my neck and pulled I looked up at him and wondered for a moment whether or not God Himself had always been a horrible, horrible lie.

I wrestled the rope up around my chin, my mouth clamped shut, Dink just looked down at me with his teeth grinning, holding on by a sliver of stone on the right side of his right shoe and the left side of his left shoe. I didn’t know males could do that, and he pulled. He pulled. And he pulled and I don’t know how he was standing there, frankly.

It was as though he were standing upright on the side of the mountain, then I saw it, Albert right above his left shoulder, face down, with his teeth clenched as blood slowly began to trickle out of Dink’s shoulder and into his shirt and that’s when I noticed the silver flash of the knife that Albert had sent all the way through.

I’d managed to secure the rope around my chin. I just clenched my jaw. My arms were stuck slightly in two cracks and the rest was just pretty much down. But Dink saw immediately and lowered what he later called his “Emergency Lasso.” He liked to keep it handy to tie around trees. We got in a fight. Albert called me an asshole and Dink…then Albert pulled us in. He fastened that knife right through his best friend’s shoulder to save me. He was probably hoping to find bone to make sure it was secure then all Dink would have to do is balance his legs. I realized Dink had got me, but he too was going over and down for good and then I realized Albert had saved me again and I thanked God for kin.

Published in: on September 3, 2010 at 3:55 pm  Leave a Comment  

Bumba

Two cavemen, a man and a woman, sit next to each other in a cave. They sit by a fire. Suddenly, the man’s arm reaches out and slaps the woman on the arm. She looks up from a bone she is chewing on and shrugs away and keeps eating. He does it again. She once again strikes back and continues on her bone.

Man: Aaaagh!
She looks up from her bone and at him.
Man: Aaaagh!
They stare at each other for a long moment before she goes back to her bone. They sit in silence.
Man: Aaaaaagh!!!
The man explodes, stands up, takes the woman’s bone from her and flings it.
Man: Aaaaaagh!!!
The man stands over her as she continues to sit there, boneless. The woman then stands and calmly goes and retrieves her bone. Sits back down and starts eating once more.
The man is disturbed, but does not react again. They sit there while she eats.
Man: Aaaaagh!!!!!
The man once again stands up and goes for the bone. She runs from him. He quickly catches her and he grabs the bone once more and flings it away. This time he has the woman in his arms. She flails wildly. He lays her down and stands over her.
Man: Bumba!
Woman: Ba!
Man: Bumba!
Woman: Ba!
Man: Bumba!!!
Woman: Ba!!!
Man: Bumba!

The man jumps on top of her and tries to take her clothes off. The two fight viciously rolling around the floor until the woman gets the upper hand by hitting him in the crotch with the recovered bone. He rolls off of her in pain.

Woman: Ba! Ba! Ba!!!

The man writhes in pain. The woman takes her bone and continues to eat in the corner. The man looks at her, but does not attack again. After a moment he stands and begins to walk around the cave looking for something. The woman watches him. He exits and returns a moment later with a small flower.

Man: Bumba!
Woman: Ba!

She takes the flower and tosses it aside.
The man scratches his head. He then quickly stands up and begins strutting around the cave like a peacock trying to impress her.

Man: (in a singsong manner as he struts around) Ah bah da bah ah dah bah bah…

He finishes with his arms on his hips and his loins thrust outward.

Woman: heeheehee.

Man (now angry): Bumba!!!

The woman senses the impending violence and stands up and begins to run away. The man chases the woman around the cave until the woman stops in a corner holding out the bone that has once again become a weapon.

Suddenly another man and woman enter giggling.. He carries this woman, lays her down and they begin to roll around in each other’s arms. Suddenly this other woman notices the couple in the cave and rolls away from the man.

Woman 2: Ahbaba ah ba na!

The two run out of the cave, but the man’s wreathed headband made of vines and flowers is left behind. The man goes to the headband and picks it up. He then once again begins to strut around the cave with newfound aplomb now that he is adorned with the fancy headdress. He once more finishes his prance with a flourish.

Woman: heeheeheee
Man: Aaaaaagggh!!!

The man throws the crown from his head and chases after the woman once more. He gets her and this time holds her as she kicks.

Woman: Ah bah na bah ah bah nah ba. Bah ah bah nah bah ah bah bah nah. Ah Bumba!

The man puts her down.

Woman: Ah bah nah bah ah bah bah.

She motions for him to walk to the other side of the cave.

Woman (waving him away) Ah bah bu.

The man does as he is told.

Woman: Ah banna ot a banu…ah, na…

The man reluctantly places his hands over his eyes and turns around.

She sneaks up on him and jumps on his back. He begins to do movements around the cave with her on his back. They both sing unintelligible words together. After a moment he drops her on the floor.

Enter Another Caveman

The caveman enters the cave in a fury, looks around, sees the cavewoman on the ground ready to go, picks her up and they go off happily together.

The First caveman sits on his haunches. Unhappy.

The couple comes back. The Second caveman drops her on the ground, turns and exits also in a fury.

The couple sit on their haunches together. Silent. After a moment, a cold cavewoman comes in and sits on her haunches. She doesn’t notice either of them. After a moment she notices them and especially the man who sits in silence for a few moments rubbing the dirt, making the second cavewoman blush. He suddenly leaps up.

Firtst Caveman: Aaaaugh!

He picks up the woman who squeals with laughter as she is carted off to make bumba.

The First cavewoman sits alone. Unhappy.

The first caveman comes back alone. He sits on his haunches. Silence. After a moment he leaps over and sits right next to her. After a moment he quickly reaches out and snatches her hand and holds it just looking straight ahead. The first cavewoman smiles.

Published in: on August 31, 2010 at 2:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Leopold Loses

Leopold.
Yes mom
Come down to supper.
Okay.
Whats for supper mom?
Stew.
You like stew dad?
Yeah.
Does Jimmy like stew?
Yeah
I hate stew! Mom, Leopold is trying to make me say that I like stew!
Oh, leave Leopold alone. He’s just trying to figure things out.
So, if you like stew and you hate stew and I like stew, sometimes, and mom likes stew, then why do they name people after stews, when stew is only so-so? Like the Stewarts? What about Ronnie Stewart? Jimmy knows Ronnie Stewart. Does his family like stew?
Mom, tell Leopold to shut up!
Shut up yourself you demon’s calf and go and hush up there. Your brother Leopold is reading them books. You ever see how fast he goes through em? Jimmy, stop, look over there at your brother. Do you think Leopold is “normal.”
Leopold’s crazy.
No he’s not. He’s special. He’s smarter than both you and I. I need you to understand that Jimmy, Leopold is smarter ‘en you.
That dummy is smarter than me?
Yes, he is. He’s way smarter en you. He’s got what they call you’uns, see? See? An IQ test and he’s off the friggin charts and he’s young yet, okay? You was young once.
Never as young as Leopold. Leopold’s the baby! Hahahahahahh!

Published in: on August 25, 2010 at 6:29 pm  Leave a Comment  

or

There has been some discussion here at the campsite about the sometimes necessary need for good writing. While the management has taken that into consideration many times, there were also times when the words were left there on the page to fend for themselves. Editorially perusing backwards in time, the management here at the offices of the fklc agree with the reader that sometimes something could have been made clearer. However, we in no way indemnify fargo kantrowitz, author of the heresaid work, as purposefully re-directing his reading audience away from the properly written word for any purposes of intent, malice, lack of straight-forwardness or

This is the Fargo Kantrowitz’z Literary Campsite

Published in: on August 23, 2010 at 2:48 pm  Leave a Comment  

Henry Mills Diary

Here I am again. Sat down on a rock last night, had to be about midnight and was just listening to the sounds of the water coming in on the shore and was thinking for some reason about the time when me and Mary were courting each other, she dressing up in those long dresses to go out to the little dinner theater that they had in come through town now and then. I really loved the way that Mary tried to mix up the muck in town. She’d go to church in a saloon girl outfit if she felt like it, not that she did. She was just like that, wild, some might call her a little outrageous and I suppose she was, but I think that’s what got me wanting her more and more like I did until I just knew I had to have her as my wife. I loved Mary more than any other woman I’ve ever known. I miss her terribly.
So I guess I fell asleep on that rock. I’ve seen a lot of indian people around here. They some of them got their little villages set up right down there on the beach. They none of them seem to mind that much that I’m up here among these rocks. Got me a little village of my own here. The rocks protect me pretty well from the winds from both sides. It’s hard for someone to sneak up on me since I’ve got a good eleven, twelve feet of climbing to do up here and I keep little alarms down the way, a string of cans, but mostly my dog does the trick of keeping me safe. I barter for my food with the indians. They’ll give me enough berries and meat to keep me going and all I got to do is strip myself of the rest of my belongings, my watch, my knife, I didn’t need such a good one anyway.
Saddened today more than usual. Didn’t drink because I ran out of whisky. Sitting here in the middle of nowhere. Tell me there’s a little town called Carpinteria up here somewhere. Hoping thing swill change for the better here real soon. Thinking a lot about Mary. Its funny how love is. When you don’t got the one that you love anymore you wonder why love couldn’t have been strong enough to keep you together. What kind of evil forces are there out there that can tear two people together who have taken the time to look into each others souls for the benefit of each. What kind of God is it that would make these two people split apart from each other forever. What kind of evil in the world is there, floating around up there, making sure that two people with two good eyes, two good ears, two beating hearts, don’t survive. Love is a special thing. It is a rarity, really. There is no reason to make believe that love, if had, isn’t the greatest thing on earth. But truly it’s not the strongest.
Things that are more powerful than love: the sun, the wind, inner desires unspoken, music, caring too much about yourself, blindness, heartlessness, coldness. I guess there’s a million things that are beating down the door of love so that love finally just gives up and lets it all in. I think blindness is the worst. It’s when you lose sight of the beauty of love that you start being blinded and when you’re blinded you can’t see to feel somebody. It’s not that we lose the ability to feel, but that we lose sight of the person to which we would pin our feelings upon. We’re so used to being alone with our own crazy selves I guess. But, anyway, I can’t hold on forever to those pink and polka dot dreams of the past. When something or somebody is gone you can’t sit around hoping that they’ll come back or it will drive you crazy forever. If you got life in you I guess there is a chance that God might send somebody new to you to make up for what he’d taken away. It’s just when you’re in the state that I am in right now it don’t seem so much that it’s possible. I guess I ain’t letting Mary go jus yet. She’s still too big inside of me. I guess she always will be if I let her be, for right now I’m letting her be. It’s not as though I really have a choice.
I sit here on this rock and see the ocean, the mighty Pacific, and the landscape above me, the green hills, green mountains further behind me. Just come to these hills, finally made it and it’s like I’m entering a tropical island. I just keep to the water and everything is alright. There’s a road here too so sometimes I see a few people, but mostly it’s just me on this road to nowhere. Hear a lot about gold being found up north. Guess I’ll go as far as San Francisco and then figure out whether or not I want to try and pan some of the stuff myself. For now I don’t care much. I did these odd jobs in Los Angeles and they just about killed my back. But there ain’t a lot of cities up along these roads anymore.

Published in: on July 28, 2010 at 5:22 pm  Leave a Comment  

County Jail and Johnny

Pizza

no Pizza

pizzapizzapizzapizza

no pizza

pizzapizza

Cake!

Pizza.

Cake!

Cake!

Cake.

Cake.

Cake.

Burger.

Fries.

Pizza!

Aaaaughh!!!!!!

Published in: on July 16, 2010 at 9:57 pm  Leave a Comment  

Tool

Money comes to those of you who wait. It might take you 89 years and you will have by then possibly died, but it comes. You just sometimes have to live to the age of Methuseluh. Perhaps we have children so that they can continue the pursuit of riches that we know we don’t have the time to acquire during our lifetimes. Maybe that’s it. Have a kid and they can do it. The dream can survive. Perhaps that is why we name our male children after their fathers. The dream continues. Perhaps once or twice we can forget about that and realize something greater, that the sum total of any new human being is greater than the sorry misdream of thinking somebody a simple function. We are not just a tool.j

Published in: on July 14, 2010 at 2:47 pm  Leave a Comment  

Albert after slipping on a tomato in produce and hitting his head.

Hello

I am here in the deep underground. What’s past is past. I know. I know. Catch a swirl. But what then? Swirl catchers ever circle.

(this poem is for sale. you can chop it up, splice it up, rough it up, whatever. It’s yours for the low low price of 14.95. That’s right, folks, I said it first, 14.99 and all your dreams come true. Did i say that? Well, let’s think about it for a moment. If you buy my magical poem at a superduper low price of 14.99 plus tax, you can be guaranteed to…

Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones.

Huh?

You slipped on a tomato and hit your head. Can you sit up? Mr. Jones?

Published in: on July 12, 2010 at 11:14 pm  Leave a Comment  

Love

I’ve sat on this for a long time, the lost days, the moments of wanting what I had and no longer being able to feel the entering place. It really is like wandering dark hallways. All memory is lost because it cannot be seen. It can only be felt. There is nothing not askew. If color could be placed upon my mind, enough to outline those forms still brewing in my soul I would be a happy man, but it is only the acts of others that seem to be able to place me there. Those acts seem to be unimportant anymore. I could trace anything in my day. I don’t mean draw, but trace the outlines of feelings enough to be able to look back at it and proclaim its verity.
And I was proud. That was a good feeling. Although when you are at any particular place in your life you doubt that it is real and verifiable.
There was a time when final results occurred, final notions, things that made you breathe out and walk on sturdy in your step like a man who knows where he is going and determined to get there. Too many people have placed me aside or, to be more truthful, I have set myself aside for other people to shine. I have always been one who steps aside for the new and whole in others. I surround myself with those who do not consider these questions, those with minds that put forth what they know as if it were true and all that there is to know. This has caused me some despair over the years because my altruism overrides my selfishness and it is only in selfishness that you can assert yourself as those who are also asserting themselves mindlessly do.
I am working on this. It is my weakness, this capitulation to all who appear and assert themselves. If you listen enough to others you will forget that your truth must be gathered for yourself. What is this truth? It is a million footed thing. A monster or a saint that asks for less discussion, asks for an end to discussion so that it may be felt deeply. Study, something formerly sought after in my youth, in its disappearance leaves me hollow for then there is no more pondering. There is only scattershot thought, winged solutions, uncolored wandering darkened rooms. At least I lost my ego. But that was not what I truly wanted. There is the selfishness. This selfishness, this healthy selfishness, asks for more color, more light, assertion and proclamation all the while knowing that it may be shot down by another’s proclamation and yet, if so, this should be considered a good thing, for the lion, at least, has been let out of its cage. No place for a lion to be.
I believe that the mind, in forsaking knowing, retracts, becomes emaciated and if left too long in an unattended state, dies. I have attempted this soulical suicide. It has been what I have wanted, to find truth in an unadorned state. But truth unadorned is not truth for it cannot be seen. Vision is desired because it streaks across the mind in a flash, with flash, and does so because life is proud and viable and seeks beauty in every step of it’s formation. We cannot be a dunce, asking for nothing for hatred of human pride which we may believe lurks around the next corner ready to devour us. We are meant to shine. Our proclamations are meant to be daring and our lives so fulfilled proclaim back to ourselves our goodness. We become beacons of light that move us forward because it has taken away our choice. When you see an open path you must take it. When you do you bump once again against darkness, but beside you are visions of truth that edify. It is this picking of the fruit right where we are that allows us to grow. Growth is our ability to feel secure in our knowledge. Knowledge allows us to feel secure in our steps. Darkness is only darkness and can be penetrated by simple light until we finally reach the reality that we seek be it what we expected or not. We seek knowledge of ourselves. If we become too wrapped up in mind games of others concerning us we will become stilted, but once we awaken again we are more than able to continue the fight, to pick up the sword and cut once again at those black chimera’s just ahead. We kill fear.

To have true victory over fear we must have true acceptance of love. Love is the result of our having tried. Our having tried reminds us that we are worthy. Success is that which allows us room to stand back and smell the flower, to love the flower and all those around us. It is and is not the opposite of hate. Hate makes us want to hurt. Love, it’s opposite, makes us want to continue the path in which we are on. It is our payment for we do nothing for free. We all must be paid and when we play in the garden of such thought it is nothing but this love that reminds us that we are good and right and worthy.        Love goes hand in hand also with change. If we are to love we must embrace the entry into the realm of love. Without this entering into the darkness with bright flame we are nothing. Fear, the first thing we encounter on our journey, is only fear. We must not back from it. We must edify ourselves with that which will remind us of this. Some would call this positive thinking, but I hate such terms. It is more poetic than that. This beauty, this senseful beauty which occurs when we dare to love, is all and all ultimately, for if we are to give our lives over to the process, a process which may at times decapacitate us, we must reach for the lifeline and love is the lifeline. In it is beauty and joy and delicate artistry. This goes for thought and spreads into things that thought produces: art, literature and such. We are meant to explore the good and great things in our lives and in other people’s lives. It is not our responsibility to hold it down as the greatest of thoughts, for all things die as well as the opportune moment for the release of a beautiful thought, but while we are with it we should be with it completely. In this way the love spreads through you and you are able to share the thought poetically, shiningly, daringly and lovingly and the end result is that whatever kernel of existence was hiding inside of you is now released into the wider world, injected into other souls who can use it for their own sustenance. If it falls flat then we must remember that the process is true, but not always true for others. Opportunity knocks to those who can hear it. For those who can’t it doesn’t mean it won’t. It may just mean that it is not time.
I have gathered a hatred of poetry over the last few years because of hatred for myself. This must change or else I will die. Literally die. The body cannot live in a world where love is kept out voluntarily because you feel unworthy. I am worthy.

Published in: on June 2, 2010 at 10:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Excuse me, but Israel (and America), wake up…

Israel has been a lot in the news lately, my news. I am looking into the Gaza Strip situation  on the internet and am wondering why we as a country are supporting them with arms after learning of what they have been doing to the people of Gaza, treating them like they were prisoners. It is called Mass Punishment, but I call it a shame that we are helping to support it. No wonder the Arab world wants us to wake up and stop supporting the Israelis with arms. Give protection to the Israeli’s from slaughter if need be, always; to Palestinians now and Israeli’s then, in some nebulous then. They do not need to incarcerate an entire population because the mouse at various times attacked the cat.  Innocents killed randomly. Homes destroyed. Families. Go ask your average American family who Senator McConnell is,  they will all stare at you with the same way before going back to hitting each other and screaming from the kitchen. We’re all the same. We, Americans, are helping fund the punishment of children along with their parents who are Innocent! We cannot continue to fund this sort of corporeal punishment. It is inhuman and unAmerican.  Check out some people who are really trying to do something about the horrible conditions being meted out by Israel in the name of safety. There is a peaceful rescue flotilla going into Gaza as we speak. They are doing live updates. There is a chance that the Israelis may shoot them out of the water. Worse things had been done. freegaza.org

Remember, violence only begets violence. Knowledge is never meant to be used to destroy another human being. Vengeance belongs to God alone or no one. All we need here is a little kindness and a little wisdom. The Good Ol’ American Way!  A good start to “fighting” terrorism, too. God bless all of the countries in the world and may their strong keep their others strong until the wise people of the world wake up and move their fingers like a wand and say “enough.”