The Fargo Kantrowitz'z Literary Campsite

The soul by fargo kantrowitz

We all have a soul. Some of our souls are rotten. We can’t see out of our own eyes. Why are they rotten? Because we are afraid to see out of our own eyes. Why? Because if we see we see or expect to see something horrible. We were disappointed somewhere along the way by something.

 There is ultimately no way to stop not just the next word but the next place to go, the next step in the feeling of your soul and when times get hard, sometimes one’s soul clenches down underneath the flesh of the person’s body and sits there while their body fights for them and sometimes ends for them. Then what?

 We like to think that the soul is forever. But there is no going there where the answer is. Past mistakes make people want to live better, to make them want to send out their best stuff to the best people, all of the time. But there is pain and confusion and their rotten souls, which aren’t really rotten, it’s the person’s life that is rotten and that can be changed or made worse depending on numerous soulical and physical and social things.

The body clamps down hard on the soul against the world.  That’s where you see people and you think that they are rotten. That they have rotten souls. But they don’t. Their soul is hidden. It is just that they are afraid and they automatically close up like clams. People always know when someone else is going through a bad trip and they pretty much just stay out of their way. Everybody has some memory that makes them close down and if they don’t, which some might not, they are lucky beings. I wish I was beautiful said the Counting Crows.

 Allow yourself to be. And you will start to become. Even if you are flawed. If your soul seems sometimes rotten. Allow yourself to be. With your words which are your actions. Allow yourself to be by being the best person that you can be and fixing yourself where at least you know for sure that you can be fixed and do it.

You’re going to get muscular if you actually do exercise and what they say is actually true that the better you feel the happier that you are. Elementary science. Believe in science. Believe in you, your soul, even when you are in your body. Even when you are in and of your soul in your body.

As you are aware that you are a spiritual being in a physical clamshell and sometimes people who seemingly have bad souls are just like those clams too, they just shut down quick and sometimes it hurts others or maybe you are the predator, oh, yes, that’s right, you are the predator, oh yeah, you forgot. Sometimes life isn’t fair.

This is when the world rises up without you and you float down further and further from enlightenment and, yet, it is all untrue. You have been gaslit you have been made to think that you are CrAzzY! Wonderful way to steal. That’s why I’m poor actually.

The world is alright today, today the world is alright. If the world weren’t alright then what would be the point? Why would we want to be here? Oh. Because we must go on. It is true! We must go on, but must we? Could we stop? This is something I find most people don’t want to talk about because they don’t know about the extent of the mystery of existence and you just confuse them about everything. Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy. Stay happy. But the soul is real.

But what if it weren’t. What if the soul was nothing at all. Was a dump truck on the way to figurativeville. Everything made up. In fact, we are various glands and brain tissue and organ that makes us who we are. Hey bob hows the hypocampus going today? Pretty good, Stan, how’s the amagydala? Makes you feel like a giraffe sort of, sort of stilted and stuck. So, we have souls. Well, well, well, welcome to the party.

Now you may not want this soul but you got it and how do you know you got it, why, you got it because you know you got it. Simple. I’m am because I know I am. What does to know mean then? To, uh, know that you know that you know. But what if you forget the question? Uh. Cut!

We exist. We do. We actually exist. And we all process it differently and we all get stuck and we all do our lives in the exact opposite of how we wish we were doing our lives and we’re just plain stuck. But don’t fret. For 14.95…you see, we all want simple solutions. We all want to just go home. There is a world of wonder and a world of glee and we just want to go there. Just want to be free.

So, we know, but we don’t do. We are clamshells all waiting to be clammed up. Quick. Some of ‘em even carry guns out there in these here United States. I say here because I know that people with country accents are proud of it. So, hail! Heck. Am I doing it right? Well, nobody knows.

There are fewer of us in the world, but we exist too. The ones who are silently watching on from the sidelines, making jokes to ourselves to amuse ourselves, waiting for more quiet or more noise, always waiting, silent, nice, respectable.

But we don’t know our task in this life. We hover over what is real and don’t know where to enter. So we see and we feel and we drift and we hide and we get lost and we get found and we get scared and we get anxious and we fear so we clam up.

And sometimes others fall off our sides. We are Gods in that way, psychologically speaking, we are gods in that we are giant clams on which civilizations build cultures and when we clam up we shake some off our sides. Some want to shake everything, psychologically clamlike off their sides, like anti-social/pro savvy win at all costs business people.

We must recognize the power that we have when we consider our own needs first. Yes, we can go off in our own direction, but we cannot sacrifice others to get there, to our safe space, our Gary Vaynerchuck’s New York Jets or Elon Musk’s little home on Mars.

If you’re scared all of the time you can’t do the things that you want to do and when people seem like they have rotten souls it is because they are chasing their dreams and being chased by their dreams too and the results of their attempts: family (payments) haunt them. They must make money! But remember that person making money is the outside you. You are hunkered down for the ride on that one. You like to think you steer the ship, but you’re being bumped around just like every emotion in this big clunker’s head. He won’t listen to you.

Do you expect the monster rotten souled person he’s talking to to listen to you? Don’t be daft. You are you your soul, your “cool guy or gal.” But you don’t know that. You’re not stuffing your face and worrying about money and wondering if your life is over, you’re all washed up. Do you stink? But you? You are sitting there in your essence picking at grapes upon red plush pillows and wondering when you’re going to have a good view again. Will this person ever calm down? Seems like you’re in it for the long haul. But you’re always nice. Get it? You. Are always nice. It is the wrapping around you that gets confused.

 True, you control the wrapping to some degree by keeping its view steady, making it know that you are there just like a stupid dog its master. But when stuff goes down, well, hold on to your grapes. What to do? What was the question again? Do you have a rotten soul. Can your soul be rotten. No. But your life can be rotten and drive you to doing things with rotten consequences hence the idea of a rotten soul can be transferred back to you in others opinions of you.

For all intents and purposes, socially, you have a rotten soul because the anger of being a victim of a hasty, unthought out, malevolent action does not allow the victim to overcome their anger very quickly and when you secretly hate somebody you hate everything about them, especially their damned soul. We try to be “Christians” in that forgiveness is required, but we can’t get over it. We were wronged and somebody with a rotten soul did it to us. We can’t shake the image. Perhaps with time people learn how to forgive, truly forgive. I imagine when they do they will feel of great relief that the anger has truly been washed away. They no longer care, truly care. They are free.

But life goes on. You forget what you were going to say. We are not always connected with our consciousness. We are blind. This is where the questions come. We are trying to come back into contact with ourselves. We realized that we have lost our way and that we need help and we seek out our true selves to find the way. Some may have become so cynical that they refuse help from themselves and that’s why we see all of these people with their heads in the sand these days.

We are kind. Don’t fear kindness because it leaves you vulnerable and you don’t want to cry out loud for everybody to see. Allow your kindness to overtake you, to enfold you, to embrace you. Say a kind word because of it and don’t feel ashamed. Kindness is not weakness that must be destroyed.

And when we recognize that we’ll all be alright. We will accept ourselves and feel free to come out of our clamshell. Then good things can happen again and hopefully we learned from our lesson that it isn’t fun to be mean because you think kindness is weakness. It all sounds like preaching, I know, but it isn’t. It’s for your own good. You can’t live in that clamshell forever. Think about it.

You like to think that you can come to an end on a subject like the soul, but you can’t. Your soul is immense and it never ends and when you think just know there will always be another thought. We fill our world with dreams that we paint in our minds 24 hours a day. After we are safe and taken care of then it is our turn to open our clamshells and enjoy the world all around us.